


Say You Won't  Let Go

by Llerian



Series: Say You Won't Let Go [1]
Category: SHINee
Genre: Drug Use, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, M/M, Male Slash, Sentimental, Slash, Smut, Sywlg, jongtae - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-10-30 01:59:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10866657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Llerian/pseuds/Llerian
Summary: Taemin owns a bar with Kibum, Jonghyun is a regular there.





	1. Chapter 1

Taemin was cleaning the last glasses and placing them in the cupboard above the shelf which contained all the alcohol bottles the bar had to offer plus a few empty ones just for decoration.

He heard the door open above the music that was playing inside the bar, he took a glass ready to serve the new costumer.

He hid a smile when he saw the familiar face. It was a dark haired boy with dark eyes, he could have been a few years older then Taemin and he was a regular at the bar. Every night, just a little later eight o'clock, he would show up and chat with Taemin and Kibum, the other barista. 

Usually, after one too many drink, he'd start telling them his work day, how much he hated his new co-worker and how bad he needed a year long vacation. That night, however, it was the opposite, after his second drink he began asking questions instead of replying to them as usual.

"Any hobbies?" he asked. He was never the best at drinking alcohol, it took him a few light drinks to get tipsy. 

"Well, Kibum here likes fashion while I like to dance," Taemin replied smiling and filling up his glass again. It was nice to have someone who seemed interested and eager to know more about them, about him. Even though hit was because of the alcohol, he negatively thought. 

"How long have you been working here?" the guy slurred after his third shot. He raised his voice so they could hear him over the music and the soft chatter. He was slowly starting to feel his head lighter and lighter. 

It was Kibum who replied first while Taemin was busy serving a group of boys. "Uhm, two years I guess, right Taemin?" he addressed to the blond one. 

"Two years and three months," he replied nodding after casting a glance on the calender behind him. 

"What about you?" the guy asked, giggling softly. Maybe he reached his limit for that night.

"Since I was little, the bar was owned by my father and he passed it to me," he said with a sad smile.

The costumer, despite his tipsiness, noticed his sad face and didn't think twice to ask what happened to his father. 

"He died a couple of years ago, car accident," Taemin explained going over to Kibum to take a bottle of dark liquid behind him. 

"And what about your mother?" 

"Jonghyun, is that right?" Kibum asked interrupting before Taemin could even reply. Jonghyun nodded a bit confused. "I think you drank too much for tonight, I'll make you coffee, okay?" he said putting his hand on Taemin's shoulder, who smiled at the gesture, before going back to his work and the drink he was preparing. 

Before Jonghyun could asked Taemin that question again, he heard his favourite song on the radio. He jumped on his feet and wabbled a lit under the baristas' eyes.

He reached over the counter and took Taemin by the wrist, dragging him from behind the counter to the centre of the room. "Let's dance!" he yelled happy. The bar was almost empty because of the late hour. 

"What? But I have to go back behind the counter," Taemin said pointing over his shoulder, but smiling and letting himself get dragged around. 

"Don't worry, I got it here," Kibum shouted, giggling.

"You said you like to dance, right?" Jonghyun said turning around and intertwining two of their hands together, the other one went to his waist in a classic slow dance pose. 

Taemin snorted. "This is not exactly the kind of dance I like." 

Jonghyun gave him a wide smile. "Then I'll lead you!" he beamed. 

The boy started to move his feet randomly, pulling Taemin and making him spin a few times. Taemin burst laughing when the song ended and Jonghyun sulked. 

They heard Kibum whining behind their backs and when Taemin turned around he saw the boy holding his phone, pointed towards them. 

"You were so cute," he said sad. 

Taemin felt Jonghyun pulling his hand and he turned back to him, confused. He saw him getting on one knee, on the floor, and he kissed the back of his hand.

"It was an honour to dance with you, you're so beautiful tonight," he said. 

Taemin burst out laughing again and the he faked being embarrassed, he placed his free hand above his heart and lowered his gaze. He then made Jonghyun stand up by pulling his hand and dragged him back to the counter where Kibum was clapping.

Jonghyun sat back on the stool at his usual place and sipped the coffee kibum made him. 

"On a scale of one to ten, how bad do you think he is going to regret it tomorrow?" Kibum asked Taemin, crossing his arms over his chest and smirking.

"I don't think he will even remember it tomorrow," he replied, giggling at the state Jonghyun was. The dark haired boy was lying almost dead on the counter. 

"Oh I'm sure I'll make him remember it," Kibum said, the smirk still present on his face. 

Taemin raised a brow confused but he turned his attention back to the boy who was now whining about being too hot. 

They called it a night, called a taxi for Jonghyun who luckily walked to the bar instead of taking the car. He was able to tell the taxi driver his address with some difficulties.


	2. Chapter 2

"Oh shit!" Jonghyun said the following night, he took Kibum's phone and brought it up to his nose to take a close look. On the display he could see himself dragging Taemin across the room and then manoeuvring him into what could be mistaken for a slow dance.

Kibum laughter was echoing through the device and the real person in front of him.

He raised his glance and addressed Taemin, who was hiding his laughter. "I'm so so sorry I embarrassed you," he tried to apologize.

"Wait wait! Here comes the best part!" yelled Kibum making Jonghyun look back at the display with the video still going.

_He saw himself getting down on one knee before Taemin. "It was an honour dancing with you, you look so beautiful tonight."_

"Oh my God!" he blocked the screen and threw the phone on the counter like it was scolding hot. Kibum was dying laughing at that point while there was a slightly pink tint on Taemin's cheeks, who was still hiding his giggles.

"I'm really sorry Taemin," Jonghyun said feeling more and more embarrassed by his behaviour.

"Don't worry, it was fun," Taemin reassured him, smiling.

"For what exactly are you apologizing? For making him dance and have fun or for calling him _beautiful_?" Kibum asked him smirking and imitating his drunken voice.

"Kibum!" Taemin scolded him throwing the cloth he was cleaning the glasses with at him.

Jonghyun thought about it for a few seconds before replying. "Well, I'm apologizing for embarrassing him, not for calling him that."

Taemin eyes went wide at that. Kibum burst out laughing. "So you're saying he _is_ actually beautiful?" he asked him, his smirk even wider.

"Without a doubt," he said serious looking at Taemin whom was starting to feel the tips of his ears getting hot as well as his cheeks.

"Okay stop, don't you have anything else to do, Kibum?" Taemin asked lifting his brows.

The rest of the evening went on fast, every time Taemin went to refill Jonghyun's glass - only alcohol free drinks that night - Kibum would coo at them and start _aww_ -ing. Taemin shook his head and slapped Kibum upside the head while Jonghyun hid his smile behind his now filled glass.

Kibum collected all the empty bottles and took out the trash when there was only ten minutes left before the closure time. As usual, the only costumer left was Jonghyun.

"Hey beautiful," Jonghyun addressed Taemin once the boy was in front of him.

Taemin snorted picking up Jonghyun's half full glass and inspecting it. "Damn, I thought I only gave you tea..."

"Very funny," Jonghyun replied rolling his eyes but still giggling. "Look, I really want to apologize for the other night," he said taking back his glass. "Can I offer you a dinner? Tomorrow night?"

Taemin thought about it for a few seconds before replying. "I would love to, but I can't leave Kibum alone here."

"Tomorrow it's sunday, it's always empty here! I think I can manage it on my own and if there's too many people I can always call Minho for help," Kibum interrupted them, the other boys didn't even notice him getting back inside. Jonghyun turned around to look at him.

"What?" Kibum asked seeing the two boys staring at him. "Oops, sorry," he giggled and ran upstairs through the stairs behind Taemin

Taemin's gaze followed him and when he turned back to jonghyun, he found him looking at him smiling. "So?" he asked downing the last drops of his tea.

"In case you didn't notice, Kibum roots for you and he would be really pissed if I said no," Taemin said leaning on the counter.

"And we don't want a pissed Kibum, right?" Jonghyun said proudly placing his now empty glass on the wood and standing up form his seat. "So, tomorrow night at eight?"

"Tomorrow night at eight," Taemin confirmed taking the glass and washing it. He made sure it was clean before drying it and then waved at Jonghyun.

~~~~

"How do I look?" Taemin asked once he was done pouring beers. It was eight o'clock sharp and Taemin was _a little bit_  nervous.

"Maybe you should get rid of this," Kibum mocked him untying the little black apron tied around his waist.

Once that was off, Kibum could really take a look at Taemin and his outfit. He was wearing a pair of light jeans ripped at the knee, a black and white striped jumper and his hair was parted in the middle showing his forehead and framing his face perfectly. Kibum laughed at that, the outfit _shouted_ Taemin.

"Oh God, do I look _that_  bad? I'm changing," he said making a turn to run upstairs and change into something different.

Kibum held him there by grabbing his arm. "You look good, silly."

"Hey," they heard Jonghyun call behind them and Kibum felt Taemin stiffen. He slightly pushed him towards Jonghyun. "Have fun!" he then said throwing a sweater at Taemin. "It's chilly outside," he explained smiling before waving at them.

Jonghyun, once they were outside the bar, greeted Taemin properly and offered him his elbow to take and lead him.

"Well, I know you like sushi so I booked a table in a restaurant near so we can walk there, is that ok?" Jonghyun asked leading Taemin around Seoul's streets.

"Perfect," he replied and then frowned. "Wait, how do you know that?"

"Kibum," the other admitted giggling.

"That's not fair!" Taemin complained. "I know nothing about you."

"Oh come on, you have the entire evening to get to know me better," Jonghyun said opening the restaurant's doors for him. Taemin felt his cheeks getting hot at the romantic manner.


	3. Chapter 3

Their table, booked under the name Kim, was placed in the exact middle of the room but was still _private_  because of the huge room and the distance between tables. Taemin couldn't hear the conversation the people seated next to them were having even if he strained his ears.

That night Taemin found out everything about Jonghyun. He was twenty five, three years older then him. He was working for an important business company which, not only allowed him to pay for his house, but he was able to help his family and sister too. He shared the apartment with a puppy named Roo, which was currently staying at his parent's house since he didn't have enough time for her, and a maid whom he fired as soon as he saw expensive stuff _magically_  disappearing from their shelves. Jonghyun spent most of his free time writing and composing songs that nobody will probably ever hear.

Then it was Taemin's turn to tell Jonghyun more about himself, but the younger didn't go into details. He remained Jonghyun about his dad's death - and Jonghyun apologized nth times for forgetting it because he was drunk - but he didn't mention his mother at all. Jonghyun noticed that but didn't persuade Taemin to tell him more about her, he figured he'd wait for Taemin to deliberately bring up the subject. Taemin told him about how he met Kibum and how he ended up helping him with the bar. He told him how much he loved to dance and about how he managed to choreograph a few music videos and shows.

They finished their dinner and, after fighting over whom should pay the bill - which obviously Jonghyun won - they exited the restaurant, Taemin mentally thanked Kibum for the sweater since it was starting to get cold outside.

They walked to the centre of the city where there were people getting in and out of the shops. They managed to get through a group of girls and, once they saw a mass of people in front of them, Jonghyun took Taemin's hand and went through them together.

Taemin felt Jonghyun soften his grasp on his hand and, before the older could retract his hand, he tightened his grasp. He saw Jonghyun smile and hold his hand tighter.

They ended up taking a seat on a bench placed between shops, the noise from the people behind them becoming a background buzz.

Taemin burst laughing at a high school story Jonghyun was telling him and he punched him slightly on the shoulder, bent in half for the giggles. He tried to go back to breathing normally and ended up leaning towards Jonghyun searching for support, he could feel the older's body shake because of the laughter.

Jonghyun caressed his soft hair snorting from time to time. Once they calmed down Taemin straightened himself on the bench and turned to Joghyun. "Thanks, Jonghyun."

Jonghyun frowned. "For what? Falling face-first in front of everybody?" he asked and Taemin laughed again. Jonghyun decided that that was his favourite sound ever, no matter how cheesy it sounded.

"No, you idiot!" he said wiping away a single tear from his cheek. It has been like that all evening, Taemin couldn't even remember another time in which he laughed as much as that one. "Thank you for the night, it was perfect."

"Thank _you_ ," he murmured looking into his eyes. "It was really perfect," he then said and Taemin lowered his head at that, felling his cheeks getting warmer.

Jonghyun moved his hair out of his face and place them behind Taemin's ear.

"I don't want to rush thing but... I really like you," Jonghyun whispered raising Taemin's face by placing two fingers under his chin. The noise behind them was now completely vanished.

Taemin read hesitation in Jonghyun's movements so he took the lead and leaned his face towards him, making their lips collide.

"I really like you too," Taemin told him slightly moving away from his lips.

Jonghyun smiled and placed his hand on the back of Taemin's neck, pulling him and kissing him again. He licked his lower lip asking for permission and Taemin granted it after lightly biting his tongue. He let Jonghyun's warm tongue explore his mouth and fight with his own. Taemin circled his neck with his arm and tried to get closer to his body shifting in position on the bench.

Jonghyun's free hand traced Taemin's upper body until it reached his thigh, where it stopped and Jonghyun started to caress his leg, earning a soft moan from the boy.

Jonghyun took the opportunity to slip his tongue inside Taemin's mouth once again. He bit and pulled Taemin's lower lip before moving away and leaving a trail of kisses down his jaw and neck.

"Didn't you say you lived near here?" Taemin asked panting slightly while he was trying to angling his neck to make more room for Jonghyun.

Jonghyun nodded against the skin and continued kissing every spot he could reach before getting up from the bench and dragging Taemin through the streets.

His apartment wasn't too far and it was placed in the exact centre of the big city, Taemin wondered how much would it cost to have an apartment like that.

He didn't even had the time to think about it that Jonghyun lead him inside the building and the he pushed him inside the elevator, pushing a button Taemin couldn't even see since the older occupied his sight and lips.

He held Jonghyun's forearms to support himself and kissed him back immediately. The trip on the elevator was short - too short for Taemin liking - and they had to separate from each other to get inside the house.

Jonghyun opened the apartment door and Taemin pushed him inside, attacking his neck with light kisses, Jonghyun laughed softly and circled his waist.

"I really don't want to rush things," Jonghyun whispered giggling while the younger one continued to push him more inside the house.

Taemin pretended not to hear him and lightly bit his neck before licking that same spot.

"Do you want something to drink, first?" Jonghyun asked backing up under Taemin's pushes*. The boy shook his head.

"How about hot chocolate?" Jonghyun asked and Taemin shook his head once again, moving to kiss his jaw, still pushing him back.  
  
"Mmh, how about a film instead?" Jonghyun tried once again. Taemin backed away and glared at him.

"Okay, okay I was just kidding," Jonghyun laughed at his face and moved his hands from his hips to the back of his thighs, raising the boy off of his feet. Taemin let out a small yelp and circled Jonghyun's waist with his legs, supporting his weight.

"This way," he instructed turning around and leading Taemin towards a closed door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *is pushes even a word?


	4. Chapter 4

Jonghyun opened the door and kept kissing Taemin until he reached the bed where he let Taemin fall. The younger boy elbowed his way towards the wooden headboard and the soft pillows.

Jonghyun took off his shirt and climbed on top of him, kneeling between his spread legs. He leaned forward above him and let his hands roam free along his smooth body and under his shirt, pulling it up exposing his chest and nipples. He lightly bit one, Taemin arched his back and, when Jonghyun pulled away, he took off his shirt and threw it across the room without even looking where it landed.

The older boy started kissing every inch of the now uncovered skin, caressing wherever he could reach with his mouth. He left a trail of wet kisses down his chest and tummy, until he reached Taemin's hip bone where he left a mark with his teeth, biting it.

His hands, that were still caressing his flat stomach marked only by the lines of his faint abs, followed his mouth and reached Taemin's pants. He played with the botton before popping it open and unzipping them.

Taemin raised his hips from the mattress to help Jonghyun who took them of and discarded them on the floor.

"You too," panted Taemin between heavy breaths while Jonghyun was kissing the inside of his thigh. He lifted himself up form the bed and propped himself on one elbow while he used the other hand to trace down Jonghyun's abs and unzip his pants.

Jonghyun went back to kissing his neck, sucking on the hot skin and leaving red marks with his teeth. Taemin closed his eyes and felt Jonghyun's hand rest on his boxers palming his erection through them. He arched his back and a moan slipped through his parted lips.

Taemin took Jonghyun by surprise and changed their position, making Jonghyun's back hit the mattress and straddling his waist. He leaned down to kiss his lips and took the chance to rub their still covered erections together.

He panted against his lips and a shiver went down his spine. He kept rubbing their erections together earning grunts from Jonghyun.

"Take them off," whispered Jonghyun, tugging slightly on the elastic of Taemin's boxers. The boy pulled away from his body and did as told, he hooked the elasticband with his thumbs and pulled them off.

He didn't even have the time to get back to kissing Jonghyun that the older changed their position again, getting back on top of Taemin.

He left a trail of kisses down his neck, chest and tummy. But this time he didn't stop and he kissed the tip of Taemin's erection, licking it afterwords.

" _Shit_ ," Taemin gasped and grasped the bedsheets around him arching his back once again.

Jonghyun pushed the tip past his lips and then parted them, lowering his head to take all his length inside and started stroking the part he couldn't reach. He closed his lips around him and started bobbing his head, sucking and licking the tip.

While he was licking and sucking - speeding up the pace when he heard Taemin moan louder - he stopped stroking him and brought his hand up to Taemin's mouth, tapping on his lips with his fingers. Taemin didn't waste any time and opened them, taking in the digits and coating them with saliva, letting them out only when Jonghyun sucked harder.

Jonghyun placed his fingers in front of Taemin entrance and pushed a lubed finger in, moving it inside Taemin searching for that bundle of nerves.

Without pulling his mouth away from Taemin's length, he raised his glance to look at Taemin and find some sort of discomfort or pain in his face while he was adding another finger in.

But that didn't happen. Instead, now that two fingers were pushed in, Jonghyun saw Taemin's eyes widen and his mouth fell open letting a choked moan out. He found the spot. He smiled around him and kept sucking even harder than before, in sync with his finger inside Taemun teasing his prostate.

At that, Taemin didn't know what to do. He didn't know if he wanted to thrust his crotch into Jonghyun's hot mouth or if he wanted to push back against his fingers. And in that moment Jonghyun added yet another finger hitting that same spot again and again, faster and faster.

" _Jonghyun_ ," screamed Taemin arching his back, his legs were trembling. Jonghyun could see he was close.

With the free hand Jonghyun reached up his chest to tease a nipple and Taemin moaned again.

"I'm going t-- _ah_ ," Taemin tried to warn him but couldn't even finish the phrase that he released inside the older's mouth, he could feel the ring of muscles clench around Jonghyun's fingers.

Jonghyun licked him clean and swallowed his load, raising up to kiss Taemin who turned jello on the bed. Jonghyun pulled out his fingers and wiped them onto his boxers before taking them off. His erection was lacking attention and wet.

Taemin was still panting, a smile plastered on his lips and his eyes almost shut.

"You were fantastic," he whispered in Jonghyun's ear, biting his lobe and locking his ankles behind his back.

"I'm glad you liked it," he said leaning down to bite his collarbone.

"But it's not over yet," whispered Taemin smiling and he overturned their position with the last bit of strength left in his body after the most intense orgasm ever. He made their erections collide together, Jonghyun's was lacking of attentions from before while his own was now starting to get back to life.

Jonghyun smirked under him and wrapped his hands around Taemin's waist supporting him when he lifted himself slightly to align Jonghyun's erection with his entrance and lowering himself onto it. He shivered again and Jonghyun's eyes rolled back.

Taemin leaned down to kiss him, the feeling of being filled up by him was unbelievable and Taemin hoped for that moment to never end. But Jonghyun's hips pushed up making Taemin bounce slightly on top of him reminding him he had to move.

He put his hands on his chest using him as support for when he lifted himself again so that only Jonghyun's tip was inside before sitting back onto it and pushing it all the way back in.

" _God,_ " moaned Jonghyun biting his lower lip while Taemin above him started panting louder and louder.

Taemin started bouncing up and down onto his erection quickening his pace every time Jonghyun pushed back up with his hips meeting his thrusts.

"You're so tight," Jonghyun said in between grunts, biting his neck and making Taemin moan even louder.

"Jjong, I ca-- I can't," he managed to say, his breath was short and the pleasure was fogging his brain.

Jonghyun was quick to change their position once more and pushed Taemin's back against the bed kneeling in between his spread legs. Taemin wrapped his arms around his neck to support himself.

He pushed into Taemin, the new position allowed him to reach even deeper inside. He started thrusting into him faster, taking out almost all his length before pushing it back in deep. On a particular hard thrust, Taemin arched his back moaning and his nails scratched Jonghyun's shoulders.

The latter grunted and kept thrusting. He could feel Taemin nearing his orgasm and started stroking his erection.

Taemin was once again at fault. He couldn't decide if he wanted to keep meeting Jonghyun's thrusts or if he just wanted to let Jonghyun do all the work. He didn't last long, it took him only a few more thrusts to come into Jonghyun's hand, screaming his name.

Jonghyun followed right after, Taemin's ring of muscles was clenching around him and he emptied himself deep inside biting the boy's collarbone.

He pulled out and collapsed half on top of Taemin and half on the mattress.

Taemin, panting slightly, threaded his fingers through Jonghyun's damp-from-sweat hair and smiled, still too high from the plasure to even try to speak.

"It was fantastic," Jonghyun said repeating the younger's previous words.

"Yeah," was the only thing Taemin could manage to say in that momenti, his smile way too big on his lips and his legs were still trembling slightly. He turned around to tenderly kiss Jonghyun who kissed him back and smiled down at him.

It was the best sex ever and, judging by Taemin's face, he could safely say the boy felt the same.

After finally calming his breath, Jonghyun got out of the bed. "We need a shower," he said extending a hand in Taemin's direction for him to take it and help him get up.

Taemin mumbled something that sounded like a _I'm too tired_  which made Jonghyun laugh. "Ok," he said securing an arm under Taemin's knees and the other one around his soulders before lifting him up the bed bridal style. The boy didn't even complain, he put his head under the older's chin and sighed content.

The shower was a hard effort but not an impossible one. Jonghyun had to keep Taemin up all the time, every time he tried to make him stand on his own the boy's knees went weak and Jonghyun had to catch him.

He cleaned them up as best as he could and then dragged Taemin out of the shower, drying him up and dressing him with a pair of his own boxers. He took a pair for himself too and led Taemin back inside the room.

Once under the bedsheets, Taemin reached for Jonghyun and nestled against his chest. Jonghyun smiled and circled his shoulders with his arm, kissing his temple.

"You're so beautiful," Jonghyun whispered in his ear.

He felt Taemin shake his head against his chest. "No, you're perfect," he managed to say before collapsing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is probably not the best smut ever but it was my first try and I think I did an ok job(?), what do you think? Let me know maybe *hides* byeeeeee~~


	5. Chapter 5

Taemin felt a whip of wind coming from his right side and the air move around him. He grunted and turned his head, he was sleeping face down with his face on the pillow of a _way too_  big and _way too_  comfortable bed to be his own.

"Shit," he heard a voice whisper not too far away from him. Taemin moved his hair out of his face and finally could see Jonghyun running around in the room, he was wearing a black suit and there was an untied blue tie around his neck, only one shoe on while he was buttoning the shirt's cuffs, eyes scanning the room searching for something Taemin didn't know.

He saw him kneeling on the floor to look under the bed, getting back up on his feet triumphantly holding the other shoe in his hands. "Found it!"

Taemin giggled. "You know, generally you're supposed to leave your shoes in the hall, and it's easier to find them again too," he mocked him sitting up on the bed. The bedsheets slipped on his body leaving his chest and back naked.

"Oh yeah?" Jonghyun answered pretending to be surprised. He took a seat next to Taemin and tried to smooth out his bed hair. "I didn't exactly have time yesterday to leave them there with you all over me," he said smirking and leaning down, kissing Taemin who barely managed to keep his laughter.

"Good morning," Jonghyun whispered smiling against his lips.

"Hey," he smiled back at him, leaving another kiss on his lips.

"You're so beautiful."

Taemin shook his head. "You're perfect," replied replaying a deja-vu from the night before in his mind.

Taemin bit his lower lip at the memory and, with a quick move, he kicked a leg from under the sheets and wrapped it around Jonghyun's hips pushing him flat on the bed. Jonghyun's back hit the soft mattress and Taemin was on top of him in a second, his spread legs on either side of Jonghyun's waist. The sheets slipped all the way from Taemin's body revealing his pale naked body clad only in a pair of tight black boxers.

"No! I have to go to work and you have to go back home," he said sitting back up pulling Taemin up with him, supporting him by placing a hand on his lower back. "Kibum will be so worried."

"I'm twenty-three, I'm old enough, I don't need a babysitter," he said but he took a mental note to apologize for making him worry and for forgetting to text him.

" _Almost_  twenty-three," Jonghyun corrected him before lifting him up by force and putting him at a safe distance so he couldn't try anything.

Taemin pretended to be offended and crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm turning twenty-three in _j_ _ust_  five months."

"Sure sure," he ruffled his hair. He kept kissing him until his phone rang, he huffed and read the message. It was his co-worker and he was asking him where was he. He huffed once again and got up. "Okay I'm super late," he said. "You have five minutes to get ready before I throw you out of the apartment in just your underwear," he ordered him around taking a look at the watch he always kept on his wrist, it was almost eight o'clock in the morning.

"Alright, boss," Taemin said mocking him. He got up form the bed and he put a hand on his lower back when a wave of pain made him flinch.

"I'm sorry," Jonghyun said apologetic and in an instant he was by Taemin's side replacing his hand with his own. "Do you want some painkillers?"

"Don't apologize, it was amazing," Taemin smiled up at him putting two fingers under his chin and leaning to kiss him. Jonghyun smiled and kissed him back before going in the kitchen to get the meds.

Four minutes and a half later, Taemin was dressed and ready to go back home.

~~~~

Jonghyun went straight to the bar as soon as he got off work, sometimes he would go back home to change clothes before going there but that night he wanted to see Taemin so bad he decided to skip that.

Once inside, he was greeted by Kibum who waved at him, the bar was almost completely full, groups of boys and couples who were already regular were sipping their drinks chatting.

Jonghyun took a seat at his usual spot but he didn't see the person he was craving to see all day. "Where's Taemin?" he asked Kibum once he was in front of him, he looked around and saw a tall boy with dark hair and big eyes behind the counter with him.

"He wasn't feeling good so he took the night off, he's upstrairs," Kibum explained.

"What's wrong? He seemed fine this morning," Jonghyun said worried.

"He just wasn't felling good," he repeated, keeping it vague while tidying up the counter and the shelves behind him.

"Kibum," Jonghyun called, making him bring his attention back to him when he understood Kibum didn't want to tell him what was going on. The boy looked at him but didn't say anything.

"Can I go up?" he asked getting up from his seat without even waiting for the answer.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Kibum said, panicking a little.

"Why?" Jonghyun asked, feeling annoyed and he was starting to lose his patience.

"Jonghyun..." before he could even finish his sentence, Kibum was interrupted by the boy who was filling in Taemin's place for the night.

" _That's_  Jonghyun?" he asked confused, scowling his brows and shifting his gaze from Kibum to Jonghyun, back and forth.

"Minho," Kibum rested a hand on the taller boy's shoulder, as if he was trying to calm him down.

"Don't _Minho_  me, he called his name, it must be his fault," he growled, without breaking eye contact with Jonghyun. He approached them and he looked like he was ready to jump Jonghyun. The latter didn't back away, in fact he was holding his gaze full of untold threats.

"My fault?" he said shocked. "Kibum what's going on?" he spat through gritted teeth.

Nobody replied and Jonghyun's patient was wearing thin. He circled the counter and was about to go upstairs but he was blocked by Minho who gripped his wrist.

"You're not going anywhere," he said, tightening his grip even more.

Jonghyun felt his blood rushing through his veins and inhaled deep with his nose. He didn't know what relationship Minho and Taemin had so, out of respect for the younger, he couldn't just punch the boy in front of him, no matter how badly he wanted to in that moment.

With a quick move he freed his wrist and grabbed the boy by the collar of his shirt, despite the height difference Jonghyun didn't let himself panic and pushed him against the opposite wall, compensating the height with the strength.

Jonghyun incinerated him with his gaze. "Don't touch me."

Kibum was quick to part them using all his strength. "You two! Stop it!" he ordered them trying to keep his voice down. "Everybody is looking at you and you're in _my_  bar."

Minho fixed his shirt keeping his eyes trailed on Jonghyun who simply ignored him and, before someone else could try and stop him, he got upstairs.

"You stay here and look after the bar," Jonghyun heard Kibum say from behind him where he was following him up the stairs.

"Is there anything you want to say before I actually go in?" he asked without even looking at him, standing in front of the door of the apartment above the bar.

When Kibum didn't reply within the three seconds Jonghyun was willing to give him, he opened the door and entered the apartment looking around. Kibum surpassed him and nodded his head making Jonghyun follow him in front of a closed door, pointing at it.

"He didn't even want me to go inside," he said crossing his arms overs his chest and looking down at his shoes. "I don't want to see him like this anymore," he said biting his lower lip to keep it from trembling and blinking fast.

Jonghyun, tired of the cryptic explanations and words from the other two boys, didn't even knock on the door and entered the room, closing the door behind him hoping to make clear to Kibum that he wanted to be alone with Taemin.

He didn't know himself what he expected to see behind the closed door, but certainly it was not what he saw once inside.

The light was dimmed due to the fact that the blinds weren't open all the way, but it still was enough to make out the limp figure curled up under the sheets in bed.

"Kibum, I told you I'm okay," Taemin mumbled, his voice was muffled by the sheets he was buried in.

"It's me," replied Jonghyun in a whisper.

He was met with silence on the other side and he started to think that maybe he imagined his voice.

"Go away, please," came Taemin's reply still muffled and this time even more soft.

Jonghyun got closer to the bed and he took a seat next to him, he felt Taemin stiffen but he didn't move. Few strands of hair were poking out from under the sheets and Jonghyun didn't waste time and started stroking his hair.

He felt Taemin relax under his touch and then he heard a choked sob. Before he could even react he felt Taemin's entire body shake from the sobs he was trying so hard to keep in. Jonghyun's heart broke, it hurt to see and hear him cry.

He moved his hand from his hair and wrapped his arm around his shoulders making the boy sit up on the bed. He hugged him and, once again, his heart broke when he felt Taemin's weak arms around his body holding him so tight like his life depended on it.

"What happened to you?" he whispered against his neck, where he buried his face to inhale deep his scent while hugging him even tighter.

After what seemed like an eternity for Taemin, he finally calmed down a bit and he slightly leaned back on the headboard, away from Jonghyun.

"I'm so sorry," he said and his voice broke at the end but he still managed to not cry.

Jonghyun, who was still stroking his back hoping to provide some sort of comfort to the younger, left a kiss on his neck. "You have nothing to apologize for, can you tell me what's wrong?" he asked dipping his head low searching for Taemin's eyes which were staring down.

Taemin shook his head. "Yes I do. You shouldn't waste your time with me, you deserve better, there are people far more worthy than me out there, I don't deserve you, I'm no good," he chanted like some sort of mantra.

"What are you talking about? Who said those things to you?" he asked, he was sure someone made him believe those thing by telling him that.

"N-no one but it's the truth, I'm not good enough for you, I can't do this to you," he said shaking his head.

Jonghyun brought his hands up to Taemin's face. He was visibly scared and he was shaking slightly, his eyes were wet and dried up tears were staining his cheeks.

"What happened to you?" he whispered again leaning his forehead against the boy.

"If I'll tell, you'll go away," he said gripping his shirt tight between his fingers. "I don't want to, you shouldn't have come here in the first place."

"I won't going anywhere, you can tell me everything," he said trying to calm him down, but that didn't happened and Taemin shook his head again.

"You'll go away, just as she said, everyone does," new tears where spilling out of his eyes. "She's right."

Jonghyun wiped them with his hands. "Taemin, who are you talking about? Who's right?" but Jonghyun already had guessed he was talking about his mother, Taemin never talked about her before but he once told him that she was still alive so Taemin's answer didn't shock him.

"My mother," he muttered, voice breaking at the end.

After reassuring him on and on that _no, I'm not going anywhere no matter what_ , Taemin finally decided to tell him what happened.

Once he got back to his house from Jonghyun's apartment he got a message by his mother telling him that someone saw they the previous night and telling him that he would only ruin Jonghyun's life with his problems if he kept dating him, she said it was better if he left Jonghyun alone because nobody would ever want someone like Taemin near them. After reading the message Taemin thought about it and he convinced himself that his mother was right, Jonghyun was perfect always attentive, kind, loving, he made Taemin feel important and he couldn't do that to him, he couldn't ruin his life like that. So he told Jonghyun he took something to make the pain go away but he exceeded and it had the opposite effect.

"What did you take?" Jonghyun asked worried looking around the room searching for an answer. He saw crumpled up tissues on the bedside table and on the floor.

"Cocaine," murmured Taemin getting away from Jonghyun and bringing his bent knees against his chest, wrapping his arms around them and leaning his forehead upon his arm.


	6. Chapter 6

Jonghyun didn't say anything for a few seconds, that answer left him truly shocked.

He stood up from the bed and turned on the lights in the room, getting back to his spot near Taemin and freeing him from his own arms wrapped around his legs, he took his face in his hands and lifted his face to get a better look under the light.

He didn't see them different and he sighed in relief, sign that the drug was already out of his system. He looked one more time around the room and went to the desk near the door, he lifted and searched through the papers scattered there.

"Where is it? Do you have any left?" he asked without even turning around to face him, still searching.

"It's there, in the drawer," Taemin pointed at the bedside table.

"This," Jonghyun said finding a small clear package with a fine white powder inside. "Goes straight in the trashcan," he put the package in his back pocket to throw it away later.

"I'm sorry," Taemin said shaking his head, his voice became even softer. "I quit, I swear."

Jonghyun took a seat on the bed, near Taemin who went back to hiding his head upon his bent knees. Silence fell inside the room, interrupted every now and then by Taemin's soft sniffles. Jonghyun was shocked at how things had changed in less than twelve hours.

"Why are you still here?" Taemin asked breaking the heavy silence.

"Where am I supposed to go?" Jonghyun answered getting closer to the boy and stroking his back, Taemin trembled for a few seconds but then relaxed under his touch.

"Taemin, listen," he lifted Taemin's chin with his fingers. "What she said it's not true, you're not _wrong_  and you deserve the best," he said stroking his pink cheek.

"Look at me Jonghyun, I'm wasting your time, I'm making you and Kibum worry just because I'm not strong enough to be a better person," he shook his head. "I even treated Minho like shit and he just wanted to know if I needed something."

"You're fine just the way you are," he said softly, smiling. "No matter what you're going through you're still putting us first," he continued, taking his hands and squeezing them. "We worry about you because we care and we don't like seeing you like this."

"And stop saying you're wasting my time, I want to be with you because I really like you, okay?" Jonghyun asked and he left a small kiss on Taemin's lips, waiting to see his reaction. "This doesn't change anything," he said waving his hands around, showing that with _this_  he ment the whole situation they were in.

He went back to kissing him slowly and when Taemin started kissing back, he smiled against his lips. "Much better," he whispered hugging him.

"Did you eat?" Jonghyun asked after a few moments of silence. Taemin shook his head and wiped the last traces of tears on his cheeks with his sleeve.

"Okay, I'll make something," Jonghyun said giving him one last kiss before getting up.

He didn't go far since Taemin stopped him by taking his hand. "Thank you. For staying," he said embarrassed, his voice so soft that Jonghyun almost didn't hear him.

"Don't even say that," he said messing up his hair and using their joined hands to lift him up on his feet, leading him to the kitchen.

He took a seat at the table while Jonghyun randomly opened all the cupboards and drawers to find everything he needed to cook something at least edible.

He found everything and, by looking at the ingredients he had to work with, he decided to cook some ramen. While he was waiting for the water to boil, he turned around to face Taemin.

He was seated on a high kitchen stool, his nose was still red, his hair was all messed up and his sweater was way too big, the sleeves were covering his small hands. Jonghyun smiled sweetly and walked over, kneeling in front of him so they were at the same height. "You're the cutest thing I've ever see," he said still smiling and slowly stroking his leg.

"You must be blind then," Taemin replied, rolling his eyes but hiding a shy smile behind his hand.

Jonghyun shook his head laughing and stood up, pecking him on the cheek and went back to the stove.

After a moment of silence, Taemin started speaking again. "It all started when my father died two years ago," he explained, his gaze fixated on his hands, playing with his fingers.

"What?" Jonghyun asked still preparing the ramen.

Taemin took in a deep breath before replying. "My addiction," he explained.

"Hey hey," Jonghyun said turning his head around to face him. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't feel like it," he reassured him.

"No, I want to, I want you to know," he said and then continued his story.

"I was very close to my father, you know? I still am," he corrected himself. "I was devastated when he died but I thought I could still count on my mother. Instead, she abandoned me, saying I was a failure and that she was forced to tolerate me all those years because of my father, she was free now and so she left, leaving me alone with the bar. At first I couldn't even get inside without getting hit by the painful memories, every night I would go to a different club getting wasted and one of those night this guy offered me a drink. He said I was way too pretty to be that sad and that he had the solution for my problems. From that night, I started to call him every day asking him for a dose, sometimes I couldn't even afford the cost but I'd always find some way to pay for it," he said elusive, staring at Jonghyun to see his reaction, especially after what he had just implied with his last words. He saw him clutching the wooden spoon he was stirring the broth with so tight his knuckles turned white but he didn't say anything, letting Taemin finish his story.

"Then Kibum arrived," he continued smiling softly at the memory. "We went to the same school, we've known each other since we were little. He needed a job so he called the bar, I hired him and he moved in with me," he said shifting his gaze to the closed door next to his room, Jonghyun assumed it was Kibum's room.

"I tried to hide it from him, but one day he got home earlier than I was expecting him and he caught me red handed. He got so mad and threw everything away, constantly watching over me after that. He even called Minho to babysit me," he laughed at the memory. "At first I hated them for what they were doing to me, but soon I realized they were actually helping me."

  
Jonghyun poured the hot ramen in a bowl and brought it to the table, placing it in front of Taemin. He kneeled on the floor once again, leaning an elbow on his legs and looking up at him, making him know he was still listening.

Taemin thanked him and started stirring the broth, blowing on it now and then to cool it.

"I have been clean for seven months, give it or take it," he said after thinking about it for a few moments. "Not counting a few relapses here and there," he said gaining a pinch from Jonghyun for lying.

"Then you arrived and my mother came back," he said in a whisper.

Jonghyun lowered his gaze. "I'm sorry," he said, felling more and more guilty of Taemin's relapse.

"Oh no, it's not your fault," Taemin reassured him threading his fingers through his hair. "Thanks to you I really felt important to someone and that I had someone always there to take care of me," he smiled. "Aside form Kibum, obviously," he corrected himself giggling.

"Obviously," Jonghyun repeated after him standing up to get a chair for himself and sitting near the boy, pulling him closer.

Taemin finished his meal and leaned back on the chair with a content sigh rubbing his full belly.

"Thank you," he said turning to face Jonghyun.

Jonghyun leaned forward and kissed him. "Stop thanking me," he said shaking his head.

"But--" Taemin's words were interrupted by Jonghyun who kissed him again.

"No buts," he said taking his empty bowl and putting it in the sink to wash it.

"Maybe I should get downstairs and apologize to Kibum and Minho for being rude," Taemin murmured, thinking.

Jonghyun glanced at the clock above the doorway, it was already eleven thirty p.m. "How about we go to bed right now and apologize tomorrow, instead?" he said taking Taemin's hand and dragging him back inside his bedroom.

"You're staying the night?" asked a really confused Taemin.

"You don't want me to?" Jonghyun mocked him closing the bedroom door behind him.

"No no, of course I want you," the younger answered smiling.

Jonghyun took off his shoes - which he completely forgot he had still on - and his jacket, laying on the bed after and reaching for Taemin.

He made Taemin's back lay flush against his chest and he pulled him even closer wrapping an arm around his waist and kissing his nape.

"Taemin?" Jonghyun called in the silence.

"Mh?" the boy replied, already half asleep.

"So, is Minho related to you by any means?"

"No, he's just a friend," he answered confused by the sudden question.

"So, let's say I _accidentally_  punch him tomorrow, it wouldn't be such a bad thing, right?" tried Jonghyun burying his face where Taemin's neck met his shoulder.

Taemin burst out laughing. "Why would you accidentally punch him?" he asked him.

"I just don't like him," he complained.

"Because he's taller than you?" Taemin asked turning around in his embrace, stabbing Jonghyun's chest with his stubby pointer finger.

"Ha ha," Jonghyun trapped both his wrists with a hand. "I don't like him 'cause he's your _friend_  and he's not Kibum."

"What is that even supposed to mean?" he asked him lowering his face to hide a smile. "You're not jealous, are you?"

"Maybe..." he said biting his neck and making him laugh. When Taemin just kept laughing, Jonghyun started to tickle him.

"Sleep," the older boy said, pretending to be offended.

"Oh come on, I already told you you're the one I like," Taemin said threading his fingers through Jonghyun's hair and kissing his jaw. Jonghyun leaned down to capture his lips.

"Yeah, I know," he whisperd kissing him again. "Goodnight."

"'Night," Taemin said back, nestling more comfortably on his chest, enjoying the warmth of his body. 


	7. And so it Ends

The following morning Taemin woke up when he heard voices coming from the kitchen through the closed door of his bedroom. He tried to break free from Jonghyun's embrace making the least noise possible and without moving too much. He felt Jonghyun immediately tightening his grasp around his waist.

"Where are you going?" Jonghyun asked him, his voice still husky from the sleep. He cracked open one eye and he looked at him with the dimmed light coming through the blinds.

"In the kitchen," he replied finally freeing himself and standing up. He stretched and offered Jonghyun his hand to take. "You coming?" he asked him nodding his head towards the door.

Jonghyun took his hand and let himself getting led. Taemin opened the door and he found himself facing Kibum focused on cooking something while he was chatting with Minho, who was eating what looked like a croissant.

Kibum turned around as soon as he heard the door open. "Hey," he greeted gently while the boys were taking their places around the table.

"Good morning," Taemin greeted and Jonghyun mumbled something unintelligible before sitting down.

Kibum placed two plates full of food before them and two cups of coffee.

"How are you feeling?" he asked Taemin placing a hand on his shoulder and squeezing it.

"Good," Taemin replied after a few seconds of silence, he glanced at Jonghyun who smiled. Kibum smiled too and nodded.

"Hey, I'm sorry," Taemin whispered lowering his gaze embarrassed.

Kibum was on his side in an instant and he crushed him in a tight hug. "Oh no, Minnie, the most important thing is that you're feeling good," he said still hugging him, Taemin wrapped his arms around his shoulders and he thanked him softly. Kibum left a kiss upon his hair before separating and taking a seat near him.

"Can I hug you too or the guard dog here is going to kill me?" Minho asked him even thought his question was more directed towards Jonghyun than Taemin himself.

"I don't know I'm still deciding whether or not you should breathe the same air he is," Jonghyun said placing the cup he was sipping his coffee from back on the table and he snapped forward.

"Jonghyun!" Taemin scolded him and he puffed his cheeks exasperated when he heard Kibum's laughter. He motioned for Minho to go and hug him.

Jonghyun followed Minho's every move and didn't tear his gaze form him even when he went back to his own seat.

Taemin put a hand on his thigh under the table and he squeezed it. Making Jonghyun turn his attention back on him. "Stop it," he whispered shaking his head but giggling anyways.

Once they finished their breakfast, Jonghyun stood up and went to help Kibum with the dishes. "I'm sorry if I was rude yesterday," he said once they were side by side in front of the sink while he was passing him the dirty dishes to wash.

"Don't worry," Kibum reassured him. "In fact, thank you for what you've done."

"You don't have to thank me, I don't want to see him like that ever again," Jonghyun said, shaking his head at the memory.

Kibum found himself immediately agreeing with the other boy. "Don't be so hard on Minho, he was very close to Jinki, Taemin's father, as well," he said smiling. "He was like a second father to all of us, I bet you would have liked him.

"Do you really think that?" Jonghyun asked turning around and leaning on the counter, he saw Minho and Taemin watching tv on the sofa.

Kibum nodded happy and went back to washing the dishes, drying them up afterwards.

Jonghyun reached Taemin on the sofa and wrapped his arms around his neck from behind, leaning his chest on the backrest. Taemin stroked his arm and Jonghyun buried his face on his neck like he always did.

"How are you?" Jonghyun whispered in his ear before leaving a light kiss there.

"Fine," Taemin replied, a shiver went down his spine and he wrapped his hands around Jonghyun's arm tighter.

"Hey," Jonghyun called moving away from Taemin so he didn't yell inside his ear. Minho turned around confused, not sure if he was talking with him or not.

"I'm sorry about yesterday," he said gritting his teeth.

"You didn't even hurt me," Minho replied smirking.

"I can try again if you want," Jonghyun growled, Taemin huffed and they heard Kibum laugh.

Before Taemin could even start complaining about their behaviour, Kibum placed himself in front of them on the sofa, holding his phone on his hand and posing. "Say cheeseeeee", he said two seconds before snapping the picture.

"A perfect family portrait," Kibum said and burst out laughing looking back at the picture he just took to see how it came out.

On one side there was Minho who was incinerating Jonghyun with his gaze while, on the opposite side, Jonghyun was bearing his teeth at him watching him with hostility from behind Taemin who was rolling his eyes with his cheeks puffed, Kibum was the only one who was actually posing for the photo, two fingers up in a peace sign and a wide smile on his face.

FIN~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, so this is kind of a short epilogue. I really want to thank you for reading and commenting, you guys made me happy :)  
> I have a bunch of spin-off/oneshots in mind for this au (?) so let me know if you want to read them!


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